Except the ones in my stomach! OK, new date tomorrow night. This is dinner with DED. I contacted him on Match.com about a month ago (?). We e-mailed, but he asked for phone call right away. Sigh... I think. Not another one of those that wants to rush into things. Wrong-o-Mary-Lou! We start talking, maybe a couple of times a week. The amount begins to increase and texts creep into the picture. He's got a lot to say and I like what he is saying. He's a planner, so he says. He was divorced about 4-5 years ago and says he took the time to get himself together, but now he's ready to start something serious.
My problem (and, oh, don't looked so surprised. You know that Miss A just has to have a problem!) - I'm worried that he is rushing things too much. Or, is he just saying the things he wants me to hear to that I'll give up the cookie? Let me explain. DED talks have started to zero in on assuming that this is the start of a lifetime commitment. He even talks about where we could live so that my DD and his DS could go to their respective schools. He talks about what we can do during the holidays. He talks about taking me to social events. Isn't that what every lonely heart wants to hear - that someone wants them? But, he has also asked me whether I like foreplay. Now, we all know that at this point in her life spectrum, Miss A is no prude. OK, stop laughing! My problem is that we haven't laid eyes on each other yet. Did anyone see that gun jump??? But, now that I've read that great book by Steve Harvey, I ain't giving up that cookie for another 2 months. If he can stick around that long, then, well, I'll just blow his mind (amont other body parts - HA!).
Now, on to my fear (and the cause of my butterflies). The weight gain. I was so confident as a size 10. Now, with a gain of 30 pounds, I am not even within spitting distance of size 10 (and this topic is a post all by itself for some other time). I was still OK with it. I still get looks. I've been out with ES and Dr. W. They both want to see me again, so I can attract a man. But, just one stupid little comment by TL (my tenent/contractor) and all the confidence has flown out the window. Yesterday, I lent a stadium seat cushion to TL's friend. TL then says "Don't tell me you get your rear into that little seat." Yup, he went there. I couldn't believe it. But (and here's the part where I'm finally taking some control) I actually confronted him on it rather than just back down and laugh it off. He really hurt my feelings and, worst of all, destroyed my self confidence. Now, I'm afraid that DED will take one look at me and go "Ugh! Look at the rear! How does she fit into a stadium cushion seat?" Well, OK, maybe not that last sentence (smile), but the rest...Hell to the yes! DED tells me that I'm already in his mind. I remind him that men are very visual creatures. I really like this guy, which makes it all the more difficult. If he turns me down, I'll be crushed.
Well, here is what I'm gonna do. I need to reach out to ES and Dr. W and set up dates for next week as well. I need to know that I have that going for me. And, I'm really starting to like ES. Found out he was a reporter, which has built him up a steps (or more) in my mind.
Well, I'm off to figure out what I can wear for dinner tomorrow. I will def post a play-by-play after the date. Wish me luck!
Miss A
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Monday Morning Quarterbacking
Ah, Monday morning. I really feel like its Karmic payback for my wild and crazy youth. I used to think that a regular 3-day weekend would be great, but then I realized that Tuesday would just become my Monday. Just no escaping it until I retire. Sigh...
News - Ted Kennedy died last week. So sad; it just seems that he was the last of his kind. The type of politician that didn't compromise his sense of vision (and he still got elected!). He had friends in the Senate on both sides, which seems to wierd people out. I think that's 'cause everyone now-a-days wants to put people in little boxes. Your a liberal...your a conservative, etc. Then, the "they" can't believe that you can actually be friends with someone and not agree with their politics.
Well, enough of that. My two dates (sounds like the title of a bad chick-flick). Friday was lunch with Ed. This was a funny story. Two weeks ago, I was waiting for a lunch date with a Match.com guy (WP). I was a little early, so I was standing outside of the Daltons bookstore and checking out the books. This guy walks up to me and starts flirting. Telling me I should be looking at travel books and such. I turn around, expecting WP, but see this other guy (Ed). He tells me he's safe and there is a cop right over there for my protection. I tell him I'm not worried 'cause I can scream really loud (Ha!). We chit-chat about lunch and what he should eat. He eventually asks for my number, so I give him my cell (where's the harm - I hope!). At that point WP (my original lunch date) shows up and off we go. Well, Ed and I go out to lunch ourselves (to the very same place I take all of my 1st dates. It's getting kind of embarrassing 'cause the entire staff has probably figured out what I'm doing. Note to self: find another 1st date spot!). Lunch is nice. I don't feel any chemistry. He's very intense. Says he's writing a book about race and cops. Anyway, date ends with a shake and a hug and a promise to get together again. I wouldn't mind lunch again, but I dont' see this going any further.
Date number two is LJ. LJ is a Match.com match. He contacted me because he is outside of my age range (he's 55 and my range is 45-53). He was very nice by e-mail and then by phone. We had some nice chats. He has never been married, which is a concern (how many men are there versus women who have never married?). He's an attorney and was a prosecutor at one point, so we have a lot in common. He has a professional photo on his profile, which he said was done before he lost a lot of weight. Well, anyway, he had set up this very nice date where we were meeting at a local arboretum that has a live butterfly exhibit and then some dinner. Very nice ideas. Then, on Friday, he sends me this very nice letter, which he had obviously worked very hard on. A little over the top for before a 1st date, but nice. Anyway, Saturday comes and I fix myself up in my finest, but something for warm weather (it was hot, muggy and sunny). I finally arrive at the park and walk in. He is sitting down. As he stands, its all apparent right away - he's an old 55. In this day and time, 55 should be nothing. You can, and should be, vibrant. But LJ was just...old. His hair was very grey (unlike his picture) and he obviously had trouble walking (it looked like maybe he had arthritic knees). Lastly, he was very drawn, some from the weight loss, but still. Sigh... Anyway, into the exhibit we go. It was great! But, there wasn't much attempt at sticking together. It got annoying. He is sweating like a pig. In fact, he was really sweaty when I first rolled up.
Anyway, off to dinner we go. We are pretty early for dinner (4 PM) so I'd rather walk around. But, it was obvious that he wasn't interested in too much movement, so up to the restaurant we go. The place is completely empty, so I suggest we sit at the bar first. I order a mojito and he orders ginger ale (this after persuing the drink menu for quite some time). I ask why, and he launches into this alcoholism runs in the family and he gets really effected by alcohol. Wish he had said something up front so I could make the decision on whether to order a drink or not. Anyway, converstaion is suddenly very difficult. He is just not as chatty in person as he is on the phone. I, searching for something to say to fill the awkward silence, mention that he doesn't really look dressed for the activity of butterfly watching (he had on black pants, socks and work shoes). He puffs up like a biscuit and says that he just sweats and his whole family sweats, blah, blah, blah. A little over the top, n'cest pas? Well, I tell him, that is not what I meant. I really just meant that I thought he would wear something less formal for a walk with butterflies. Well, he says, these are khakis! Well there ya go, I mean, what was I thinking? Khakis! That answers everything! OK, do ya hear the sarcasm???
By this time, I just start my usual babble 'cause we just aren't having a real conversation. We decide to order appetizers and eat in the bar area (I'm just not feeling a full-fledge dinner at this point). He then tells me he just doesn't eat that much (uhm, aren't you the one that invited me to dinner?). Urgh!!! Well, we order 3 appetizers and then, of course, he proceeds to eat a lot. Whatever! I tell him, Oops, gotta go pick up DD. Then karma, that bitch, serves up a whole plateful. DD calls up and says can't you pick me up later? Your killin' me, little girl. I say nine and now I'm stuck, or so I think. I ask if he wants to go to the movies. He says, oh, I need to go visit some friends tonight (whew!). We part without any physical contact (which is okay with me since I don't want to touch sweat anymore).
Wow! Looking over this, I sound so bitchy. I'm really not. No, really! I guess I'm getting tired of this already. Its hard keeping a positive outlook when it just seems that people aren't being honest. I know, I know... I'm being naive. But still, I'm getting too old for this nonsense.
Well, like the lottery, ya gotta be in it to win it. So, I'll keep plugging along, hoping for the best.
Lata gata
(an ever hopeful) Miss A
News - Ted Kennedy died last week. So sad; it just seems that he was the last of his kind. The type of politician that didn't compromise his sense of vision (and he still got elected!). He had friends in the Senate on both sides, which seems to wierd people out. I think that's 'cause everyone now-a-days wants to put people in little boxes. Your a liberal...your a conservative, etc. Then, the "they" can't believe that you can actually be friends with someone and not agree with their politics.
Well, enough of that. My two dates (sounds like the title of a bad chick-flick). Friday was lunch with Ed. This was a funny story. Two weeks ago, I was waiting for a lunch date with a Match.com guy (WP). I was a little early, so I was standing outside of the Daltons bookstore and checking out the books. This guy walks up to me and starts flirting. Telling me I should be looking at travel books and such. I turn around, expecting WP, but see this other guy (Ed). He tells me he's safe and there is a cop right over there for my protection. I tell him I'm not worried 'cause I can scream really loud (Ha!). We chit-chat about lunch and what he should eat. He eventually asks for my number, so I give him my cell (where's the harm - I hope!). At that point WP (my original lunch date) shows up and off we go. Well, Ed and I go out to lunch ourselves (to the very same place I take all of my 1st dates. It's getting kind of embarrassing 'cause the entire staff has probably figured out what I'm doing. Note to self: find another 1st date spot!). Lunch is nice. I don't feel any chemistry. He's very intense. Says he's writing a book about race and cops. Anyway, date ends with a shake and a hug and a promise to get together again. I wouldn't mind lunch again, but I dont' see this going any further.
Date number two is LJ. LJ is a Match.com match. He contacted me because he is outside of my age range (he's 55 and my range is 45-53). He was very nice by e-mail and then by phone. We had some nice chats. He has never been married, which is a concern (how many men are there versus women who have never married?). He's an attorney and was a prosecutor at one point, so we have a lot in common. He has a professional photo on his profile, which he said was done before he lost a lot of weight. Well, anyway, he had set up this very nice date where we were meeting at a local arboretum that has a live butterfly exhibit and then some dinner. Very nice ideas. Then, on Friday, he sends me this very nice letter, which he had obviously worked very hard on. A little over the top for before a 1st date, but nice. Anyway, Saturday comes and I fix myself up in my finest, but something for warm weather (it was hot, muggy and sunny). I finally arrive at the park and walk in. He is sitting down. As he stands, its all apparent right away - he's an old 55. In this day and time, 55 should be nothing. You can, and should be, vibrant. But LJ was just...old. His hair was very grey (unlike his picture) and he obviously had trouble walking (it looked like maybe he had arthritic knees). Lastly, he was very drawn, some from the weight loss, but still. Sigh... Anyway, into the exhibit we go. It was great! But, there wasn't much attempt at sticking together. It got annoying. He is sweating like a pig. In fact, he was really sweaty when I first rolled up.
Anyway, off to dinner we go. We are pretty early for dinner (4 PM) so I'd rather walk around. But, it was obvious that he wasn't interested in too much movement, so up to the restaurant we go. The place is completely empty, so I suggest we sit at the bar first. I order a mojito and he orders ginger ale (this after persuing the drink menu for quite some time). I ask why, and he launches into this alcoholism runs in the family and he gets really effected by alcohol. Wish he had said something up front so I could make the decision on whether to order a drink or not. Anyway, converstaion is suddenly very difficult. He is just not as chatty in person as he is on the phone. I, searching for something to say to fill the awkward silence, mention that he doesn't really look dressed for the activity of butterfly watching (he had on black pants, socks and work shoes). He puffs up like a biscuit and says that he just sweats and his whole family sweats, blah, blah, blah. A little over the top, n'cest pas? Well, I tell him, that is not what I meant. I really just meant that I thought he would wear something less formal for a walk with butterflies. Well, he says, these are khakis! Well there ya go, I mean, what was I thinking? Khakis! That answers everything! OK, do ya hear the sarcasm???
By this time, I just start my usual babble 'cause we just aren't having a real conversation. We decide to order appetizers and eat in the bar area (I'm just not feeling a full-fledge dinner at this point). He then tells me he just doesn't eat that much (uhm, aren't you the one that invited me to dinner?). Urgh!!! Well, we order 3 appetizers and then, of course, he proceeds to eat a lot. Whatever! I tell him, Oops, gotta go pick up DD. Then karma, that bitch, serves up a whole plateful. DD calls up and says can't you pick me up later? Your killin' me, little girl. I say nine and now I'm stuck, or so I think. I ask if he wants to go to the movies. He says, oh, I need to go visit some friends tonight (whew!). We part without any physical contact (which is okay with me since I don't want to touch sweat anymore).
Wow! Looking over this, I sound so bitchy. I'm really not. No, really! I guess I'm getting tired of this already. Its hard keeping a positive outlook when it just seems that people aren't being honest. I know, I know... I'm being naive. But still, I'm getting too old for this nonsense.
Well, like the lottery, ya gotta be in it to win it. So, I'll keep plugging along, hoping for the best.
Lata gata
(an ever hopeful) Miss A
Friday, August 28, 2009
Beating a Dead Horse
Okay, since I really want to get all the info down, I wanted to go over my most recent relationship, if you can call it that. GES was actually one of the first men I corresponded with through eHarmony. I started with eHarmoney sometime in March. AT first, as with probably all dating sites, you get a lot of matches. I wrote back and forth with a few and then they slowly whittled down to GES and another guy (Tony). Both are from Richmond.
GES is very funny, with a dry, sometimes sarcastic, sense of humor. After a couple of weeks of e-mails we graduated to phone calls. Both were fun and something I looked forward to. My DD and I were scheduled for a cruise during her Spring Break in April. GES decided he couldn't wait and wanted to see me ASAP. Uhm, OK, says I. We meet the Tuesday before my trip. He drives up to DC from Richmond just for lunch ((which, let's face it, really impresses a girl). I tell him where the restaurant is and meet him there. He has brought a vase of white roses (awhhh!). He's cute, with dreds. Funny thing is, he has a slight lisp that was not detectable on the phone. He tells me how pretty I am (whateva!) and tells me he is going to pursue me. He continues this statement everytime there is a lull. Uhmmm, OK, says I (again, never at a loss for sparkling conversation!). Lunch was lovely and we part.
He calls me up until the time DD and I leave. Upon our return a week later, GES calls again. He wants to see me because he misses me. Uhmmm, OK, says I (I really need to get better comebacks). So, we arrange to meet at the National Arboretum, which is a nice and unusual place for a date. We enjoy walking around and each others company.
The following Thursday, DD's school has an overnight camping trip. I happen to mention this to GES and he is all over this. Of course, during all of his pursuit, I have also made plans with Tony. He has planned to drive up from Richmond and overnight (in a hotel...I'm not THAT easy) on that Thursday so we can go out to dinner. The problem with Tony? I can't see his face on his profile picture. I repeatedly ask him for a better picture, but he always puts me off (cue air raid sirens). Eventually, he sends me an e-mail with a picture attachment. It's actually a cartoon picture of Obama. Can we spell annoying, girls and boys?
So, back to GES. He asks if he can come up Thursday night and stay over. Against the intelligent side of my brain, I say (you guessed it) Uhmmm, OK. I cancel Thursday with Tony and up comes GES. He wants to sleep with me, but nothing further. So, we do fall asleep, but he wakes me up and we get pretty close. But, we both break it off.
Anyway, we seem to be headed to something serious, with phone calls several times a day and constant texting and e-mailing. He begins to ask my opinion on his business. He begins to come up on the weekends and I introduce him to my DD. She falls madly in love. When he visits, he does lots of stuff around the house. GES invites me to go to Atlantic City with a bunch of his friends (one is a high roller and she got all of these rooms comp). We have a great time hanging out with his friends for the weekend. All good signs. And then...
Screech!!! Put the emergency brakes on! Full stop, Scotty! GES decides to focus on building his business more. I can't blame him, but why the great build up, just for the let down? He still calls several times a day. Still texts several times a day, but that's about it. Summer comes, summer is almost gone and he's still very focused on his business.
At some point during the summer he apologizes and tells me I should start dating again. He doesn't want to know about it and wants me to keep him on the back burner and not to forget him. OK, so back to eHarmony I go. Unfortunaely, not much of interest there. So, I try Match and things are working out better there (well, except for Mr. I'm really 62 and I smell like urine - Ha!).
In my mind, GES got the full boot when he missed my birthday - no card, no flowers, no present. When he finally called in the late afternoon, his mind was somewhere else. I told him to call me back when he could focus on yours truly. I had a little get together that following weekend (steamed lobsters, my fav!) where he was supposed to come. No show (although, he claims, his brother and nephew were in an accident. I try to believe because I just can't believe anyone would come up with such a horrible lie). We continued to talk but my interest and heart weren't in it. I invited him to our Labor Day party and he accepted. I really think its just an auto-pilot thing. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of weeks, but he just e-mailed me about the party (asking if he was still invited). I e-mailed "Too scared to call???" He answered yep but he thinks of me very very often. Told him that doesn't give me the warm fuzzies. Pathetic!
Moving on!
Two dates this week - one for lunch today and another park and dinner date tomorrow. More about those later.
Ciao!
Miss A
GES is very funny, with a dry, sometimes sarcastic, sense of humor. After a couple of weeks of e-mails we graduated to phone calls. Both were fun and something I looked forward to. My DD and I were scheduled for a cruise during her Spring Break in April. GES decided he couldn't wait and wanted to see me ASAP. Uhm, OK, says I. We meet the Tuesday before my trip. He drives up to DC from Richmond just for lunch ((which, let's face it, really impresses a girl). I tell him where the restaurant is and meet him there. He has brought a vase of white roses (awhhh!). He's cute, with dreds. Funny thing is, he has a slight lisp that was not detectable on the phone. He tells me how pretty I am (whateva!) and tells me he is going to pursue me. He continues this statement everytime there is a lull. Uhmmm, OK, says I (again, never at a loss for sparkling conversation!). Lunch was lovely and we part.
He calls me up until the time DD and I leave. Upon our return a week later, GES calls again. He wants to see me because he misses me. Uhmmm, OK, says I (I really need to get better comebacks). So, we arrange to meet at the National Arboretum, which is a nice and unusual place for a date. We enjoy walking around and each others company.
The following Thursday, DD's school has an overnight camping trip. I happen to mention this to GES and he is all over this. Of course, during all of his pursuit, I have also made plans with Tony. He has planned to drive up from Richmond and overnight (in a hotel...I'm not THAT easy) on that Thursday so we can go out to dinner. The problem with Tony? I can't see his face on his profile picture. I repeatedly ask him for a better picture, but he always puts me off (cue air raid sirens). Eventually, he sends me an e-mail with a picture attachment. It's actually a cartoon picture of Obama. Can we spell annoying, girls and boys?
So, back to GES. He asks if he can come up Thursday night and stay over. Against the intelligent side of my brain, I say (you guessed it) Uhmmm, OK. I cancel Thursday with Tony and up comes GES. He wants to sleep with me, but nothing further. So, we do fall asleep, but he wakes me up and we get pretty close. But, we both break it off.
Anyway, we seem to be headed to something serious, with phone calls several times a day and constant texting and e-mailing. He begins to ask my opinion on his business. He begins to come up on the weekends and I introduce him to my DD. She falls madly in love. When he visits, he does lots of stuff around the house. GES invites me to go to Atlantic City with a bunch of his friends (one is a high roller and she got all of these rooms comp). We have a great time hanging out with his friends for the weekend. All good signs. And then...
Screech!!! Put the emergency brakes on! Full stop, Scotty! GES decides to focus on building his business more. I can't blame him, but why the great build up, just for the let down? He still calls several times a day. Still texts several times a day, but that's about it. Summer comes, summer is almost gone and he's still very focused on his business.
At some point during the summer he apologizes and tells me I should start dating again. He doesn't want to know about it and wants me to keep him on the back burner and not to forget him. OK, so back to eHarmony I go. Unfortunaely, not much of interest there. So, I try Match and things are working out better there (well, except for Mr. I'm really 62 and I smell like urine - Ha!).
In my mind, GES got the full boot when he missed my birthday - no card, no flowers, no present. When he finally called in the late afternoon, his mind was somewhere else. I told him to call me back when he could focus on yours truly. I had a little get together that following weekend (steamed lobsters, my fav!) where he was supposed to come. No show (although, he claims, his brother and nephew were in an accident. I try to believe because I just can't believe anyone would come up with such a horrible lie). We continued to talk but my interest and heart weren't in it. I invited him to our Labor Day party and he accepted. I really think its just an auto-pilot thing. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of weeks, but he just e-mailed me about the party (asking if he was still invited). I e-mailed "Too scared to call???" He answered yep but he thinks of me very very often. Told him that doesn't give me the warm fuzzies. Pathetic!
Moving on!
Two dates this week - one for lunch today and another park and dinner date tomorrow. More about those later.
Ciao!
Miss A
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Long Time No See
Wow! I can't believe how long its been since my last post. I've taken such a verrrry long time posting. But, that's because I took a break from serious dating.
Quick overview:
My Mom passed away in summer of 2007. I'm still dealing with it now. She was my anchor and now I feel like I'm just kinda getting pushed around by the currents. Even today, I still come across something that for that nano-second I think "I've got to tell Mom about this" and then I realize that I can't.
Winter of 2008, I began a relationship with M, the music minister of my church. His wife had passed away in Fall of 2007. I guess the start was inevitable, as well as the end. Nice guy, just so not ready to be in any kind of relationhip. I broke up with him in Winter of 2009 and felt a million pounds lighter. Funny how that goes. Like I said, nice guy, but he just wasn't giving me what I needed/wanted. And, what is that? A partner and all that that word implies. Not that I'm looking for someone to completely mirror me (that would be a complete bore!). Just looking for share life with. I don't want to be therapist, Mommy, cook, banker, life coach, etc. Yes, we all take on those roles in any relationhip at times, but it needs to be even-steven, not all on my part. Anyway, M turned a little stalkerish. He calls, writes letters and texts and e-mails, he sends picture mail. Ugh! Everytime I start to relax, up he pops again...kinda like Jason at Crystal Lake (okay, that was mean, but kinda funny!). He quit his job right after we broke up, which really scared me. I mean, who does that in this economy. Then, he came over to my house, all dressed and polished up, and tried to talk me out of the break up. As I'm trying to ease him out of the house I'm also trying to figure out if I can reach the knife drawer before he does (exaggerting...a little).
In April, I joined eHarmony (again) and strated to corresponding with 2 guys, both from Richmond (what is it with Richmond guys and me???). S came on really strong (not in a creepy way, in a sweep you off your feet way). I'm thinkin' "Can this really be possible? This is way too easy". And, the upshot? Yeah, it was too easy. He was all hot and bothered until he decided to focus on building his business (real estate). I'm not angry just...tired. Why is this so tiring? We still talk, usually everyday, but that's about it. He didn't send me anything on my birthday (card, flowers, dead fish wrapped in newspaper), so that's it as far as I'm concerned.
Sometime this past summer I picked up that new book by Steve Harvey "Think Like a Man, Act Like a Woman". Love this book. I have read some complaints that this sets us women back. My take? Its reality...either you understand it or you sit on the sidelines. I definately plan on keeping this and passing it onto my daughter and her daughters (and so on and so on...). The part about a guy being unable to focus on a relationship when he is too busy building his business - Ding Ding Ding! Okay, moving on...
S told me to start dating again and so, back to eHarmony I went. Not much there, so I went to Match.com (again!). Wow! What a difference a few years make. The pickings now are so much better. There are so many more men that are college and post graduate. I've realized that I need to focus on what I know makes me happy instead of being PC and swearing that a non-college guy is going to satisfy me. Is it possible? Of course (my grandfathers are proof that you don't have to go to college to be interesting and a good conversationalits)! But (you just knew there would be a but!), you just have such a better chance of finding what you want when you stop trying to be egalitarian and narrow your parameters.
I've also finally decided to listen to my brother. I will not focus on one guy too soon. I'm talking with several great and interesting men. I'm having a lovely time so far. Well, almost perfect. The first guy I had a first date with was a nice guy who said, on his profile, that he is 52. He planned a nice date to a museum in DC (nice!). We meet and he is about 50 pounds lighter than his photo (and NOT in a good way) plus he smells like urine (yech!). He's an artist, so walking around the museum was fun. We sit for lunch and he confesses that he is really 62. He only says 52 because he feels young and doesn't want to miss out on women that fit his lifestyle. Uhm, sorry...doesn't fly. You lied, pure and simple. Not any way to start off a relationship. I wouldn't even want him as a friend. That was just too major.
Had another 1st date with a doctor. We met for lunch 2 weeks ago in Union Station. It went well...conversation was interesting and naturally flowing. And then...not much. A few texts and then nothing. I hate when you can't tell if he's just busy or just not interested. Then again, I haven't always been clear either. Man! Karma's a bitch, ain't she?!
I have another 1st date coming up this Saturday. He has planned to visit a live butterfly exhibit at a local garden and then dinner. Sounds like fun. I have really enjoyed our conversations and e-mails. My one concern? He hasn't been married. Of course, neither have I (Hah!).
Well, that's my 2-year life in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll add more as I go along. Hopefully I'll write a little bit more than I have.
TTFN!
Quick overview:
My Mom passed away in summer of 2007. I'm still dealing with it now. She was my anchor and now I feel like I'm just kinda getting pushed around by the currents. Even today, I still come across something that for that nano-second I think "I've got to tell Mom about this" and then I realize that I can't.
Winter of 2008, I began a relationship with M, the music minister of my church. His wife had passed away in Fall of 2007. I guess the start was inevitable, as well as the end. Nice guy, just so not ready to be in any kind of relationhip. I broke up with him in Winter of 2009 and felt a million pounds lighter. Funny how that goes. Like I said, nice guy, but he just wasn't giving me what I needed/wanted. And, what is that? A partner and all that that word implies. Not that I'm looking for someone to completely mirror me (that would be a complete bore!). Just looking for share life with. I don't want to be therapist, Mommy, cook, banker, life coach, etc. Yes, we all take on those roles in any relationhip at times, but it needs to be even-steven, not all on my part. Anyway, M turned a little stalkerish. He calls, writes letters and texts and e-mails, he sends picture mail. Ugh! Everytime I start to relax, up he pops again...kinda like Jason at Crystal Lake (okay, that was mean, but kinda funny!). He quit his job right after we broke up, which really scared me. I mean, who does that in this economy. Then, he came over to my house, all dressed and polished up, and tried to talk me out of the break up. As I'm trying to ease him out of the house I'm also trying to figure out if I can reach the knife drawer before he does (exaggerting...a little).
In April, I joined eHarmony (again) and strated to corresponding with 2 guys, both from Richmond (what is it with Richmond guys and me???). S came on really strong (not in a creepy way, in a sweep you off your feet way). I'm thinkin' "Can this really be possible? This is way too easy". And, the upshot? Yeah, it was too easy. He was all hot and bothered until he decided to focus on building his business (real estate). I'm not angry just...tired. Why is this so tiring? We still talk, usually everyday, but that's about it. He didn't send me anything on my birthday (card, flowers, dead fish wrapped in newspaper), so that's it as far as I'm concerned.
Sometime this past summer I picked up that new book by Steve Harvey "Think Like a Man, Act Like a Woman". Love this book. I have read some complaints that this sets us women back. My take? Its reality...either you understand it or you sit on the sidelines. I definately plan on keeping this and passing it onto my daughter and her daughters (and so on and so on...). The part about a guy being unable to focus on a relationship when he is too busy building his business - Ding Ding Ding! Okay, moving on...
S told me to start dating again and so, back to eHarmony I went. Not much there, so I went to Match.com (again!). Wow! What a difference a few years make. The pickings now are so much better. There are so many more men that are college and post graduate. I've realized that I need to focus on what I know makes me happy instead of being PC and swearing that a non-college guy is going to satisfy me. Is it possible? Of course (my grandfathers are proof that you don't have to go to college to be interesting and a good conversationalits)! But (you just knew there would be a but!), you just have such a better chance of finding what you want when you stop trying to be egalitarian and narrow your parameters.
I've also finally decided to listen to my brother. I will not focus on one guy too soon. I'm talking with several great and interesting men. I'm having a lovely time so far. Well, almost perfect. The first guy I had a first date with was a nice guy who said, on his profile, that he is 52. He planned a nice date to a museum in DC (nice!). We meet and he is about 50 pounds lighter than his photo (and NOT in a good way) plus he smells like urine (yech!). He's an artist, so walking around the museum was fun. We sit for lunch and he confesses that he is really 62. He only says 52 because he feels young and doesn't want to miss out on women that fit his lifestyle. Uhm, sorry...doesn't fly. You lied, pure and simple. Not any way to start off a relationship. I wouldn't even want him as a friend. That was just too major.
Had another 1st date with a doctor. We met for lunch 2 weeks ago in Union Station. It went well...conversation was interesting and naturally flowing. And then...not much. A few texts and then nothing. I hate when you can't tell if he's just busy or just not interested. Then again, I haven't always been clear either. Man! Karma's a bitch, ain't she?!
I have another 1st date coming up this Saturday. He has planned to visit a live butterfly exhibit at a local garden and then dinner. Sounds like fun. I have really enjoyed our conversations and e-mails. My one concern? He hasn't been married. Of course, neither have I (Hah!).
Well, that's my 2-year life in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll add more as I go along. Hopefully I'll write a little bit more than I have.
TTFN!
Monday, July 9, 2007
Short and Sweet
Well, maybe not soooo sweet. Spoke with G last night (as always). The conversation was nice (as always). Anywho...G won't be able to make it up (keep your mind out of the gutter) next weekend - he is singing in church that Sunday. Dang! DD is supposed to sing in church this Sunday as well. But, DD has also made plans to sleep over her BFF (one of a cast of thousands!) this Saturday, so I don't know how all this will play out. Hmmm...perhaps (as I twirl my Snidley Whiplash mustach) I could make a solo run down to see G since BFF has invited DD to come over around noon on Saturday. Could HB work this to her advantage? Will HB get a little summer lovin'? Tune in tomorrow as the stomach turns! [cue organ music] [fade to black}
HB
HB
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Who is #3?
Well, Joel Siegel (the entertainment reporter on ABC) died on Friday. Beverly Sills (the wonderful opera star from Brooklyn) dies yesterday. You know celebrity deaths always come in groups of 3. So, who will be #3?
Monday Morning Quarterback
Well, okay, it is Tuesday and it is evening. But the thought was there. No really, it was! I actually typed up a whole new post yesterday and then *POOF!* my Internet connection went belly-up and I lost the whole post (so, remind me again - why is FIOS so great?). Well, I only had 2 choices - throw the whole kit and caboodle out the window or get up, walk it off and start again later. Well, either I'm typing on what's left of my computer on the ground below my window or I got up (you decide).
So, I wanted to update you on my weekend with G. DD and I drove down on Saturday. The aim was to leave by 11:30 AM, but, well, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions as they say. Actually, what jacked us up was having to stop by Mom's rehab facility and drop off more clothes. It really was my fault - I forgot to check on her clothes situation when we visited on Friday. So, there we are on Saturday running what seemed like a thousand errands before we could actually get started. But off we got - about 1/2 hour late - on the road again (just can't wait to get on the road again - thanks Willie!).
Sigh...got caught in bad traffic. 301 was really jammed up - there was a tractor trailer that had broken down. It took the better part of an hour just to travel 10 miles. And then, wouldn't you know it, just as we get up to the truck, the tow truck whisks it away. Well, then off we go again. Driving wasn't too bad after that.
G calls me to check on our progress. Since we are running late, he suggests that we meet at the part since we need to pass it on the way to his house anyway. Well, of course I say no way 'cause that is interfering with my original plans! Let it never be said that HB lets common sense get in the way of her plans! Will I ever learn (stop shaking your head!). Well, I then had a little argument with G in my head and he won (see, I can't even win an an argument that's going on in my very own noggin!). I called G back and told him we would meet him in the park.
We hook up in the parking lot ('cause G has the tickets) and in we go. We all had a great time. Then the girls and I changed into swimsuits and hit some of the water rides while G snoozed and watched our stuff. Then, I let the girls go off by themselves and G and I sat and relaxed. Out of the blue, I ask G if he would want more kids (beware of the out-of-the-blue questions!!! They can be lethal). He said he wasn't really sure. We are both getting to the age where having another child has to be weighed against retirement age. Actually, his answer was well reasoned and not based purely on emotion. I liked that.
I then asked him my burning question - what is he looking for in a relationship? He answered that he is looking for love and marriage. He doesn't want to grow old alone. Me likey that answer even more!
We eventually made our way back to G's house. The girls ran upstairs to play and G and I stayed downstairs to watch TV and - yes - swap a little spit. We were both too tired to really get hot and heavy. However, when it came time for bed, that didn't stop him from offering his bedroom for the night. I (and I can't believe I did this) said no. HB gets bonus points for that, surely!
Sunday morning comes around and G knocks on my bedroom door and suggests that we all go out to break the fast. I pop up, throw on my robe and clean up (yeppers, I look like Alfalfa with my hair sticking straight up in the air). Then, I went into G's room and sat on his bed. Was this a mistake? I don't think so, at least not up to that point. G was back under the covers and I sat on top with my back to the foot of the bed. We chatted for awhile. Then, some how (and I'm still trying to remember how I got into this position, I wound up laying next to him, with our faces inches apart. I know it started with a foot rub, but its all hazy after that. Anyway, we started kissing (nice), then stroking (very nice), then fondling (uhm, wait a minute). Seems like I'm about to go down that very road I was trying to avoid.
G asks if I locked the door but I didn't. See God really does look out for fools and little kids (and I'm definitely a little of both!). We were both physically ready - he was hard as a rock and I was a wet as Niagara falls. But, my heart just wasn't in it yet. What is happening to me? Am I finally growing up at the tender age of *mxosm@#"? So, we parted ways and went to take our respective (cold) showers. The rest of the morning was nice - breakfast, chatting, church. The girls got along really great (which is nice). Then, DD and I drove home.
Red flag - the only one right now is an old one with G - he's been married 2x already. Why? That's a question I need to ask him at some point.
We've planned for the 2 of them to come stay with us weekend after next. I hate the thought of having to wait so long to see him. One - 'cause it would be nice to see him more often. And two - 'cause I wonder if its putting an unnatural sheen on the relationship. You know, you're so happy to be together that you don't run through the natural process of arguing and noticing the things that tick you off (not that I ever let that get in the way before!).
Good flags - he wants to marry. he's not sure about having kids.
So, the question of sleeping arrangements for the upcoming weekend. Well, you know I've been cleaning my room like mad! Its a complete wreck. We moved to this house about a year ago, but with all of the renovations and getting the rest of the house together, I haven't even touched my room. it is still full of boxes and extraneous flotsam and jetsam. So, yes, I'm cleaning because in the back of my mind there is the possibility of the sharing of the bed. Am I there yet? Meaning, am I ready yet? I don't know. This has never been a question that I've asked myself. I know that I want this to be more than just a screw or sex. And, its not making love. You have to be in love to make love (sounds like a bad T-shirt slogan). I want more than just sex - that's what you have with someone you just met in the bar and you think he's cute. I definitely don't want a screw (that's what you have when you don't even leave the bar). Can you make really, really, really like (you now, the intercourse you have before you fall madly in love)? Is there such a thing? I really do like him. I just don't want to screw (heh heh) this up.
So, here I sit, taking a break from emptying boxes in my bedroom. You know what? I miss him. I really do. But, that scares me. I'm not sure if I can handle that type of feeling. Hey, what is that big "L" doing on my forehead?
So, I wanted to update you on my weekend with G. DD and I drove down on Saturday. The aim was to leave by 11:30 AM, but, well, the road to Hell is paved with good intentions as they say. Actually, what jacked us up was having to stop by Mom's rehab facility and drop off more clothes. It really was my fault - I forgot to check on her clothes situation when we visited on Friday. So, there we are on Saturday running what seemed like a thousand errands before we could actually get started. But off we got - about 1/2 hour late - on the road again (just can't wait to get on the road again - thanks Willie!).
Sigh...got caught in bad traffic. 301 was really jammed up - there was a tractor trailer that had broken down. It took the better part of an hour just to travel 10 miles. And then, wouldn't you know it, just as we get up to the truck, the tow truck whisks it away. Well, then off we go again. Driving wasn't too bad after that.
G calls me to check on our progress. Since we are running late, he suggests that we meet at the part since we need to pass it on the way to his house anyway. Well, of course I say no way 'cause that is interfering with my original plans! Let it never be said that HB lets common sense get in the way of her plans! Will I ever learn (stop shaking your head!). Well, I then had a little argument with G in my head and he won (see, I can't even win an an argument that's going on in my very own noggin!). I called G back and told him we would meet him in the park.
We hook up in the parking lot ('cause G has the tickets) and in we go. We all had a great time. Then the girls and I changed into swimsuits and hit some of the water rides while G snoozed and watched our stuff. Then, I let the girls go off by themselves and G and I sat and relaxed. Out of the blue, I ask G if he would want more kids (beware of the out-of-the-blue questions!!! They can be lethal). He said he wasn't really sure. We are both getting to the age where having another child has to be weighed against retirement age. Actually, his answer was well reasoned and not based purely on emotion. I liked that.
I then asked him my burning question - what is he looking for in a relationship? He answered that he is looking for love and marriage. He doesn't want to grow old alone. Me likey that answer even more!
We eventually made our way back to G's house. The girls ran upstairs to play and G and I stayed downstairs to watch TV and - yes - swap a little spit. We were both too tired to really get hot and heavy. However, when it came time for bed, that didn't stop him from offering his bedroom for the night. I (and I can't believe I did this) said no. HB gets bonus points for that, surely!
Sunday morning comes around and G knocks on my bedroom door and suggests that we all go out to break the fast. I pop up, throw on my robe and clean up (yeppers, I look like Alfalfa with my hair sticking straight up in the air). Then, I went into G's room and sat on his bed. Was this a mistake? I don't think so, at least not up to that point. G was back under the covers and I sat on top with my back to the foot of the bed. We chatted for awhile. Then, some how (and I'm still trying to remember how I got into this position, I wound up laying next to him, with our faces inches apart. I know it started with a foot rub, but its all hazy after that. Anyway, we started kissing (nice), then stroking (very nice), then fondling (uhm, wait a minute). Seems like I'm about to go down that very road I was trying to avoid.
G asks if I locked the door but I didn't. See God really does look out for fools and little kids (and I'm definitely a little of both!). We were both physically ready - he was hard as a rock and I was a wet as Niagara falls. But, my heart just wasn't in it yet. What is happening to me? Am I finally growing up at the tender age of *mxosm@#"? So, we parted ways and went to take our respective (cold) showers. The rest of the morning was nice - breakfast, chatting, church. The girls got along really great (which is nice). Then, DD and I drove home.
Red flag - the only one right now is an old one with G - he's been married 2x already. Why? That's a question I need to ask him at some point.
We've planned for the 2 of them to come stay with us weekend after next. I hate the thought of having to wait so long to see him. One - 'cause it would be nice to see him more often. And two - 'cause I wonder if its putting an unnatural sheen on the relationship. You know, you're so happy to be together that you don't run through the natural process of arguing and noticing the things that tick you off (not that I ever let that get in the way before!).
Good flags - he wants to marry. he's not sure about having kids.
So, the question of sleeping arrangements for the upcoming weekend. Well, you know I've been cleaning my room like mad! Its a complete wreck. We moved to this house about a year ago, but with all of the renovations and getting the rest of the house together, I haven't even touched my room. it is still full of boxes and extraneous flotsam and jetsam. So, yes, I'm cleaning because in the back of my mind there is the possibility of the sharing of the bed. Am I there yet? Meaning, am I ready yet? I don't know. This has never been a question that I've asked myself. I know that I want this to be more than just a screw or sex. And, its not making love. You have to be in love to make love (sounds like a bad T-shirt slogan). I want more than just sex - that's what you have with someone you just met in the bar and you think he's cute. I definitely don't want a screw (that's what you have when you don't even leave the bar). Can you make really, really, really like (you now, the intercourse you have before you fall madly in love)? Is there such a thing? I really do like him. I just don't want to screw (heh heh) this up.
So, here I sit, taking a break from emptying boxes in my bedroom. You know what? I miss him. I really do. But, that scares me. I'm not sure if I can handle that type of feeling. Hey, what is that big "L" doing on my forehead?
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