Long Time No See

Wow! I can't believe how long its been since my last post. I've taken such a verrrry long time posting. But, that's because I took a break from serious dating.

Quick overview:

My Mom passed away in summer of 2007. I'm still dealing with it now. She was my anchor and now I feel like I'm just kinda getting pushed around by the currents. Even today, I still come across something that for that nano-second I think "I've got to tell Mom about this" and then I realize that I can't.

Winter of 2008, I began a relationship with M, the music minister of my church. His wife had passed away in Fall of 2007. I guess the start was inevitable, as well as the end. Nice guy, just so not ready to be in any kind of relationhip. I broke up with him in Winter of 2009 and felt a million pounds lighter. Funny how that goes. Like I said, nice guy, but he just wasn't giving me what I needed/wanted. And, what is that? A partner and all that that word implies. Not that I'm looking for someone to completely mirror me (that would be a complete bore!). Just looking for share life with. I don't want to be therapist, Mommy, cook, banker, life coach, etc. Yes, we all take on those roles in any relationhip at times, but it needs to be even-steven, not all on my part. Anyway, M turned a little stalkerish. He calls, writes letters and texts and e-mails, he sends picture mail. Ugh! Everytime I start to relax, up he pops again...kinda like Jason at Crystal Lake (okay, that was mean, but kinda funny!). He quit his job right after we broke up, which really scared me. I mean, who does that in this economy. Then, he came over to my house, all dressed and polished up, and tried to talk me out of the break up. As I'm trying to ease him out of the house I'm also trying to figure out if I can reach the knife drawer before he does (exaggerting...a little).

In April, I joined eHarmony (again) and strated to corresponding with 2 guys, both from Richmond (what is it with Richmond guys and me???). S came on really strong (not in a creepy way, in a sweep you off your feet way). I'm thinkin' "Can this really be possible? This is way too easy". And, the upshot? Yeah, it was too easy. He was all hot and bothered until he decided to focus on building his business (real estate). I'm not angry just...tired. Why is this so tiring? We still talk, usually everyday, but that's about it. He didn't send me anything on my birthday (card, flowers, dead fish wrapped in newspaper), so that's it as far as I'm concerned.

Sometime this past summer I picked up that new book by Steve Harvey "Think Like a Man, Act Like a Woman". Love this book. I have read some complaints that this sets us women back. My take? Its reality...either you understand it or you sit on the sidelines. I definately plan on keeping this and passing it onto my daughter and her daughters (and so on and so on...). The part about a guy being unable to focus on a relationship when he is too busy building his business - Ding Ding Ding! Okay, moving on...

S told me to start dating again and so, back to eHarmony I went. Not much there, so I went to Match.com (again!). Wow! What a difference a few years make. The pickings now are so much better. There are so many more men that are college and post graduate. I've realized that I need to focus on what I know makes me happy instead of being PC and swearing that a non-college guy is going to satisfy me. Is it possible? Of course (my grandfathers are proof that you don't have to go to college to be interesting and a good conversationalits)! But (you just knew there would be a but!), you just have such a better chance of finding what you want when you stop trying to be egalitarian and narrow your parameters.

I've also finally decided to listen to my brother. I will not focus on one guy too soon. I'm talking with several great and interesting men. I'm having a lovely time so far. Well, almost perfect. The first guy I had a first date with was a nice guy who said, on his profile, that he is 52. He planned a nice date to a museum in DC (nice!). We meet and he is about 50 pounds lighter than his photo (and NOT in a good way) plus he smells like urine (yech!). He's an artist, so walking around the museum was fun. We sit for lunch and he confesses that he is really 62. He only says 52 because he feels young and doesn't want to miss out on women that fit his lifestyle. Uhm, sorry...doesn't fly. You lied, pure and simple. Not any way to start off a relationship. I wouldn't even want him as a friend. That was just too major.

Had another 1st date with a doctor. We met for lunch 2 weeks ago in Union Station. It went well...conversation was interesting and naturally flowing. And then...not much. A few texts and then nothing. I hate when you can't tell if he's just busy or just not interested. Then again, I haven't always been clear either. Man! Karma's a bitch, ain't she?!

I have another 1st date coming up this Saturday. He has planned to visit a live butterfly exhibit at a local garden and then dinner. Sounds like fun. I have really enjoyed our conversations and e-mails. My one concern? He hasn't been married. Of course, neither have I (Hah!).

Well, that's my 2-year life in a nutshell. I'm sure I'll add more as I go along. Hopefully I'll write a little bit more than I have.

TTFN!