G and I dated about 5 years ago. He has a daughter a year older than mine and a son that is now graduating from HS. We first met on one of the online dating machines, uhm, I mean services. We e-mailed and phoned for a few weeks before we actually set eyes on each other.
Just a side note...they don't do that anymore. One wink and they want to wisk you off for some weekend roll in the hay. Well, okay, its not THAT quick, but there isn't much interest in e-mails or calls anymore. In some ways, that's cool - you can really size someone up quickly face-to-face. On the other hand, getting to know someone over the phone saves me from wasting time with some of the strange ones I've met over the years (but, we'll get to that later. I'm such a tease!)
Well, anyway, G decided, way back in the day, to take me out for brunch. When I arrived he had some beautiful roses for me. Well, that set the tone for our relationship and all was, ahem, rosy (insert eye roll) for a while. Unfortunately, at the time the company G worked for was having massive troubles and eventually broke up. This was obviously a stresser on him. I say this because I felt that he was drifting away from me and I attributed it to work problems. But, it seems that the drift became more and more pronounced (Tokyo Drift? Hmmm, nope, just a regular one). I began to wonder if he was seeing someone else and eventually, I began to drift away as well. There was never any grand blow-up, just a slow parting of the ways.
Well, Marty McFly, time jump to 2007. I'm back in the online dating machine - dang! I mean the online dating service (Match.com) and who sends me an e-mail? Well, if I have to tell you, you haven't really been paying attention. But to those with ADD - G sent me an e-mail. He told me I was looking good and asked me to write back. I said, hey, why not! I had just broken up (badly) with a jerk (D - mucho more on him later) and it was nice to be asked. So, write back I did. We've been phoning each other regularly - usually after kiddies are in bed around 9:30 or so. Its been great so far. But, as we all know, the phone part is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy (as my daughter would say).
We are set to get together this Saturday. He is driving up to meet me and what we do I left up to him to decide. Choices are late lunch, movie, museum or lunch at the restaurant where we first had brunch (is that too cheesy? can't decide).
With G, I am trying new things for me. First, no jumping into sex (tumbles in the hay, rumbles in the jungle, beast with 2 backs, etc) until I get a better clue as to what he is in this for. Is it just booty calls (although, he lives a little too far away for this to be a legitimate booty call relationship) or is he looking for more? He said that he was sorry he let me drift away. I did tell him why (thinking he was seeing someone else). He explained that actually, his eldest sister was dieing. They were very close and it was hard on him. Of course, this begs the question, why didn't he say something then? I didn't ask him this 'cause that just seems like more of an acusation than a real question.
He mentioned the other night that he was speaking with his brother and told his brother that he would consider moving back up this way because of me. My inner me (mini-me???) said 'whoa, Nelli!' that's going a little (okay, a LOT) to fast and far. The outie me said 'uh-huh'. Real good repartee, wouldn't you agree. I think it must be great to have a script writer to help me come up with witty, pithy replies rather than the cave-woman speak I sometimes fall into (I'll have to look into that, right after I look into how to become an astronaut).
Where is this going? Who knows (although, perhaps Dionne Warwick and her Psychic Friends Network might!). I am trying NOT to approach this as I always do - is he the one? I've come to realize that that puts waaaaay too much pressure on me to not address the red flags that pop up and to stay with someone longer than I should.
Well, gotta jet. More (oh, so much more) later....
HB
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